Food Verbiage

Some of frequently used food terms I might use, and what they actually mean.

A whole new exprience

I've never paid so much for food before.

Chill out ambience

Compilation CDs featuring Euro DJs I've never heard before playing in the background, and the service is glacially sloow...

Deconstructed

Unrecognizable, requiring 2 minutes of instruction from my waiter as to how to eat it.

Distinctive flavour

Eating Cod that distinctively tastes like fish... Hm... interesting.

Exciting new concept

An existing concept, with bigger menus, colour-coordinated staff uniforms, and crockery from Japanese $2 shop.

Explosion/explode/bursting with flavour

Ouch.

Fresh/freshness/refreshing

It used to be a given to ONLY eat fresh food. From the frequency with these words now used, it seems to be more of a novelty.

Impeccable Service

My ice water glass was refilled promtly and without charge.

And the waiters make sure they asked if the food was good each time I put something in my mouth.

It was very good/yummy/tasty/appetizing/interesting

I can't be bothered to get out my thesauraus.

Modern twist

Smaller plates, bigger garnishes, higher mark-up.

Rustic Charm

I've never seen that many shades of brown in one place, and the floors aren't swept properly.

I was pleasantly surprised

'Cause after seeing the rustic charm of the place, my expectations were way low.

A must-try

One of the only three dished that were picked for me to try.

Signature dish

The most expensive of the three dished that I was made to try.

Sophisticated air

Dim lighting, thick tablecloths, and the manager who doesn't smile.

The taste was indescribable

I'm not entirely sure what I was eating...

Tender/crispy/fluffy/juicy/creamy/succulent

These are the most popular texture adjectives found in all food writing. The frequency of their use is however more proportional to the excitability of the writer than the quality of the food.

Seduce

Using this verb in food writing is almost always a case of my premature exaggeration.

Happy bday Alex. Hope you had a blast last week. 'Cause F and I definately had a blast blowing those balloons.

Xoxo E