FYL

This blog has been on a standstill for a long time. Was reading through our old posts and thought to myself, wow, we can be pretty darn lame and crude. It's a wonder why some people don't get us. I'm so glad I have H & F. They are the only two people whom I can be so candid with. Who can take my dark humour and not get offended. The people whom I can tell jokes that no one gets (they eventually do after I spend 20 mins explaining the hidden meaning) and immediately gets it.

Where?! Where to find (such lame friends)?

So like what Elbert Hubbard said: "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive."

Listen to whatever we have to say with a pinch of salt...

Xoxo,
E

Pet peeves.

I am easily irritable and I like to make fun of people. If you don't know, you can read this post about the top 10 kind of people I snigger at while surfing FB.

Recently, I came up with another list of my pet peeves...

I have a friend who is well-known for saying something and doing another, let's see...

1. Friend 1: Pls lah, why would I want to download twitter? It's so dumb! It's like stalking people's life!
*2 months later, upon getting a BB/iphone, she adds you on twitter and updates about everything. From stupid bitches to 4Ds to yummy lunch, 5x a day. Hmm, lets see, you're giving people a chance to stalk your life right?

2. Friend 1: I can't stand girls who put so much make up.
*Next you see her in the toilet slapping on more foundation.

3. Friend 1: I am so fking broke, I don't have money to do anything! I am so sad ):
2 seconds later on your MSN conversation:
Oh btw, I just bought a new DKNY dress, it was 30% off, I just HAD to buy it!

But of course, she's not the only one...

4. Friend 2: I have better things to do than download twitter and keep updating!
*2 mins later you see her updating on FB religiously about her breakfast/lunch/dinner. So busy... No wonder she doesn't have time for Twitter.

5. Friend 3: I hate people who update about their luxury buys. So hao lian for what?
*Sees on her blog: a picture of her new Gucci, no comment about it except a 'nice? :)'

6. Friend 4: Ew, that dress doesn't look good on you lah! Don't buy!
*A week later she struts to work in the new dress YOU wanted. So it looks good on her...??

I have to admit, I do get into these scenarios too. Just like the times when I insistently insisted that I will NOT get an iPhone, "over my dead body!!!!" And now, my iPhone is the first thing I wake up to, the last thing I see before I sleep, my companion when I travel, my cure to boredom, it's my life!

Oh btw, if you think this blog post applies to you cause you're my friend, think again.




Yup! I'm probably talking about you. :)
But of course, no hard feelings!

Lotsa love, hugs & kisses,
Fio

The speech we never gave

We tried to keep it as short and sweet.

Elle:

Good evening everyone. For those of you who don't know who we are, my name is Elle, this is Fiona and Hazel.  C is our bestfriend and the sister we chose. I would like to start off by saying congratulations to C and T. I would also like to thank you both for asking us to be part of your special day. It meant so much to me to watch my best friend marry the man of her dreams this evening. This day came so quickly and I hope you both take the time to enjoy each moment.

Fiona:
I would just like to add that you guys are perfect together and I wish you luck and happiness. Remember, your relationship was carefully built out of commitment and understanding, hope and love. May you always make your home happy, your life complete, and be the guiding light in your hearts. Congratulations on a wonderful future together.

Hazel:

Take each day and cherish your time together, love one another and stand together. Take time to talk to one another. Put your love and your family first, and your job and your hobbies second. Never lose your sense of adventure and your spontaneity, and may your future be golden!

Now it gives us immense pleasure to invite you all to raise your glasses in a toast to C and T.

To love, laughter, and happily ever after...CHEERS!!!

Xoxo E

Guide to finding an Ang Moh boyfriend...

Much to Hazel's post, I'm sure there are still the rest of us out here who are SPGs. So here's my short guide of finding an ang moh BF...

1st, leave your boyfriends back at hometown…
‘Ok boys, don’t cry… We’re just there to rejuvenate our souls.’

2nd, make sure you choose a vacation date close to a festive period then people are usually friendlier & cheerful. Remember to do your homework in advance, I’m sure you won’t want to be stuck at somewhere during the monsoon period thinking ‘err… where did all the OTHER tourists go?’.




3rd, remember to don your party gear and head to the loudest beach party. Not too skanky, lest, being mistaken for a hooker.

4th, if that didn’t work, go light a wishing lantern and pray that things would turn better tomorrow. Remember to bargain! (150B is still a lot of money!)

5th, dress like triplets so that people will give you some attention.

6th, go join an activity that you would meet other travelers. The key here is, meeting the right ones. You won’t want to be joining day trips and meeting family with 3 noisy kids or old couples reminiscing their good ol’ days.

7th, wear your prettiest bikini. First impression counts. (Who cares if you have your dive suit over or mask on?)

8th, so it’s been 3 days and you haven’t met any cute ang mohs? Now it’s time to get into the nightlife! Pick somewhere with fireshows, buckets & loud r&b.

9th, Just like diving, you’ve seen almost everything you wanted to see underwater. Ship wrecks, leopard sharks, black tip sharks, sea turtles… But no mantas? Mantas are just like cute ang mohs, you need FATE. What’s worse, it’s the last day of your trip?! Repeat step 3 to 8! Give it your last shot!

.

.

.

.

.

There!! SEE I told you…

We've got David Beckham

Oops too fat? I was talking about that little tattoo on his arm...

Model from Roxy

Richard Gere

Jack Black, blonde version

Just becareful not to go near sea sick people though.

10th, Now, fun is over, whatever happened in PP, stays in PP.

It’s time to be good and holy.

XOXO,

Fiona

why il never marry an ang moh~

As much as i love ogling over Leonardo Dicaprio, i can never see myself marrying an angmoh because.....

1. They look like GIANTS and i cant seem to have a proper conversation with them

Ive never felt so puny beside this 2m tall English Giant who thinks im Yukiko from Tokyo.
Our conversation went like this:
Giant: Where are you from?
Me: Tokio, how abouchu?
Giant: Im from England
Me: * Eyes became wide..Oo..Davie beckham..
Giant: Yes..David Beckham
Me: Ooo..and theres the Queeen..*giggles
Giant: Uh..yup..the Queen
Me: And Ah....Prince William!
Giant: *Pause and stares at me...yes darling..Prince william

2. They are just too friendly

Took a picture of F and this angmoh, to my horror, he planted a kiss on her cheek! Oops! A lil too friendly i guess..

3. Ive got no fate with the cute ones

There are lotsa cute instrustors in the dive sch..

Theres cutie pie Gareth


Sunshine boy, Mike


Jason the one in shades that looks like Bratt


Ken the one with cute curls

Out of all the mouth watering cute instructors, God decided to choose a perfect one for me that looks like this.................................






Why god..Whyyyy?????


Even my dive buddies were not these young hot cuties, but





These! Thats 40 year old French Boy who suffer from nose bleeds every dive on the left, and 50 year old german boy with a nice pool of white hair on the right...see what i mean..




Oh Richard..i guess i love u more on screen..

Till then,

Hazzie

How to take beautiful photographs

Hi everybody! Photos and captions play an important part of our lives these days! And I am here today to teach you how to capture that perfect picture! Teehee!

The Foot Shot

Noticed an increasing trend of people doing The Foot Shot. I don’t know if it is for satisfying their foot fetish fans but I’d like to think that it gives us the excuse to caption: “Walking over to the COOLEST beach party in town!” When the truth of the matter is that it was just a lousy beach bar dotted with a few lonely souls.

There are other numerous ways of doing this. You’ve got the popular My-feet-is-in-the-sand, My-feet-is-in-the-water” or of course “I-can-see-my-feet-and-shadow” poses.

The Distracted Me

People like to call this the “candid” shot. But I say even candid shots needs to be posed. Yes the irony. Well, first you’ve gotta ask the photographer to take your photo. Then you proceed to looking away from the camera to do the I-am-not-looking, I-am-eating, I-am-busy-talking-on-the-phone, I-am-taking-pictures... The key here is to be natural people. See how these photos are so NATURAL?

The Me Love Drinking

The essensce here is to hold your favourite drink when photographing. It could be your favourite Chang beer, San Miguel… It is a very good prop for the “Oh I don’t know what to do with my hands days”.

"I love beer!"

The Pain Shot

Another trend spotting photography style is people taking photos of their bleeding wounds. Note to self, even if in great agony and bleeding all over your carpet, take a bloody picture before cleaning it up. No pun-intended. Teehee. Oh and please don’t forget the “OUCH!” or “Battle Scars!” or, or best “Cut my finger… pain, pain” captions.

"Blisters from flippers. Pain, pain...boohoo...sobz :("

The Pencil and Eraser Trick

If someone ever commented you looked like a whale, you could use this nifty trick, by NOT taking a photo with someone your OWN size. Tadah! You see, you don’t look HALF as bad now. No pun-intended again. Teehee.

"I'm feeling skinny today"

The Food

A quintessential in everybody’s album. It is to give people a head start on how your fart will smell.

The Bent Knee

It is very important that you bend your knee at a slight angle. Never stand straight or you’ll end up looking like you have razor burns in your butthole, ahem, I mean, not that I ever shaved my ass or anything... Lululu… See the difference? Razor burns, no razor burns.

The Hand

There could be many variations to this. At a 45, 90, 180 degree angle… or the favourite and most effective Hand-on-hip pose. If you are impish, you could try the Ruhua too.

The Tilted Head

Pretty straight-forward. But without doing the bent knee and hand-on-hip, you’ll end up looking awkward or like someone wacked you in the head with a bat. Not good.

"I think I sprained my neck"

Obviously my dearest friend H has mastered the art of taking wonderful photos. She nailed every trick in the book. The tilted head, the super bent knee and she brought it up a notch by placing her Hand-on-knee instead! Very clever. Well done my love!

"I am sibeh chio!"

Written by: E